The Ego and its Friends

The flip side of being happy I didn't fail my exam is the "wait ... I used to be an A student ... I don't get grades of 70" side of my head.

I deal with such ego-burst material on a daily basis, both in connection with my class work and in my job -- where I am definitely the low man on the totem pole in terms of programming ability. It is difficult to deal with ... I know that these eructations of ego only get in the way of my learning more, but it is difficult to control them as they are completely irrational.

I somehow cannot find a way to forgive myself for not being the genius I have always wanted to be.